Sunday, October 14, 2007

Gna-Boo Report

From my Mom:

Today is Sunday 10/14/07...
Willy called me at 6am this morning and related that Mother is doing very well this morning. As usual, first thing when she wakes up is that she is hungry - a good sign. She had her oatmeal which is what she asked for. When Willy declined the nurse who came in to give her IV, she immediately piped up and said she needed it as she is not eating enough. So, you see, she knows what is going on and what is needed to give her more energy and strength. She is trying harder to eat but she does have difficulty swallowing.
Willy again spent the night with her and Lillian relieved him at 9am. Jimmy just called from the airport that he has been to see Mom and she is looking a lot better, more lucid and smiled when he told her he is leaving for a few days. Bobby is back from Las Vegas last night as did Lil from Chicago. I will relieve Lil at noon. So we are taking shifts so as not to bombard her with too many people at one time. Cousins Annie (who has been there almost daily), Lily and Dorothy also came to see her yesterday and Lily fed her almost half a bowl of Soy milk that she likes. Adelaide and white son Tim also came by last evening with flowers and biscotti. Mom is totally aware of everything and when she is tired, she just closes her eyes, tunes out and rests.
The plan remains that tomorrow hospice will send all the equipment to her place and will set up so that when she goes home, probably either in the afternoon or Tues morning, depending on how well things are finalized at home for her. She seems pleased that she will be going home where she will be more comfortable, being within her familiar surroundings. Her regular maid, Annie, whom she also likes and relates well, will initially be there to take care of her during the day. So, we will see how things go and go from there on a day to day basis.
Will keep you guys all informed. Thank you Jason and Erica for wanting to return to SF immediately to see Grandma but at this point, its best that you guys stay put and we'll keep you abreast of the situation. Robby and JJ both have been to see Grandma when she was in ICU. Even though she was groggy and sleepy then, she was aware who came and smiled.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

when it rains...

i sit in my curtained cubicle in the hospital feeling fuzzy-headed and lost. how did i arrive at my appointment four and one half hours late?

my gna-boo is in a curtained cubicle in a hospital right now too in San Francisco. she is my one grandparent left and she is in intensive care, speaking little, eating nothing. Congestive heart failure, kidney disfunction, levels of this and that and falling down and a stroke (or two!) and doing better, no doing worse, no you shouldn't come, she's gonna weather this one through, no she doesn't want anything invasive, why weren't the ICU nurses watching her, bleeding bump on the back of her head, smiled at news of great and grand-children, lucid, silent.

i feel depressed and impotent. it started before news of my grandma but that sent me into a state of avoidance- of classes, responsibilities, engagements. have i overloaded my schedule, am i moping, self-indulgent? have a recent lowering of medicines been premature? i have had pneumonia for the past month or so, but antibiotics seem to have quelled the chest pains and cold symptoms. this progress, reinforced by specific blood tests and CT scans, seem to confirm that the pneumonia was/is bacterial and not fungal- a good thing. body-sick no. heart-sick.

Madeline Kwok. all of my friends who've met her agree that everyone needs a gna-boo. the sweetest little old lady ever. i'm so scared i'm not going to get to say good bye.