Friday, July 18, 2008

Missed Marriage

Four days ago, Uma and John became wife and husband. It was an occasion long-sought for so many reasons, not least of which revolved around the journey they have traveled together since an aneurysm burst in Uma's brain in January of 2007. They had become engaged the Christmas Day prior. Since the aneurysm, Uma has gone from a deep coma to a woman ironing out the wrinkles left by the aphasia (inability to speak) and paralysis. And from years before and through these often horrific 18 months since, John has been Uma's partner, her care-giver, her advocate, her lover, her cheerleader, her confidant, accepting her in all her evolving forms and potential.

As if the high drama of a wedding joining these two isn't enough, I have to say a word or two about Uma. When we met on the first day of freshman year as undergraduate roommates, my dear friend not only had not had a boyfriend prior but she honestly figured that love was not to be a facet of her life. We both spouted feminist theory from our bunk bed roosts, disparaged the archaic bonds of marriage, and all but vowed never to engage in such a misogynistic illogical incarceration. However, this was a woman who loved her Jane Austen, who had a weakness for the naughty and unlikely heroine finding a true love. This was private Uma and now we all know- the real Uma. This girl wouldn't take the easy route, wouldn't let any suitor into her heart without complete honesty and purity of intention. And that's why I'm so glad that she is now married to Mr. John Ballinger, better than a Darcy, a Bingley, or a Brandon.

Something like this would have been a part of the toast I was asked to give, but I was advised by my medical team that I'm just not ready to be in the company of so many people quite yet. My disappointment is huge, but I find solace in hoping that smart moves like that will allow me to be present when Uma pops out baby Umita or Little John. [Hee hee, Uma! We still gotta work out your "kid issues" before you can stop rolling your eyes at the mention of the little tykes. Ahh, come on, human mutts are fun!]

If you were there, please flood me with pictures. You can get my e-mail address from Uma or John.

Mazel Tof!


artineh said...

Congratulations to Uma and John. That's wonderful! I can't wait to see pictures too. I'm sorry you couldn't be there, Erica. But that was in some ways better than a live toast! Beautiful! There will surely be other life celebrations to partake in, she in yours and you in hers.

Abby Wood said...

Congrats to Uma and John, and what a nice picture that you posted, E! I'm sorry that you had to miss it but I think you're exactly right when you talk about long-term possibilities of seeing little Umitas :)

joe chandler said...

You were missed.

Anna said...

Hi luv,
I wrote you my lengthy description of the "Pallinger" wedding. check your email!