Sunday, September 10, 2006

surprises


Erin popped in for breakfast last week, just in time for my usual bacony meal. What a joy to see her smiling face unexpectedly! I am so proud of her; she is officially a pilot now for Mesa Airlines and kicking some major butt. She has worked so hard and sacrificed so much for this; she is an inspiration.

Another not so happy surprise is my swiss-cheese brain. I mourned when I was informed that my central nervous nervous system radiation might cause slight brain damage, but really didn't notice anything of that sort until recently. My medical team says that it is caused by the chemo and that it should go away, but, as anyone who has ever blacked out before can atest, it is a distinctly disconcerting and frightening experience. There are periods of hours that are completely lost; things I've mailed off and have no recollection; movies that I can't guarantee if I've seen them recently or not. Although everyone around me is understanding (although somewhat startled), it is embarassing and scary.

As for other health issues, my counts are as my doctors expect- low enough to be fighting lingering leukemic cells, but high enough that I'm not in too much danger for pneumonia, blood clots, exhaustion, pancreatis, or other fun infections.

My spirits aren't too bad lately either; not sure to what I can atest that. Mostly the love of those around me- both strangers and friends/family. I am super happy that my Fletcher friends are back in Boston now too. Although it is saddening to watch them embark on their second semester while I languish behind academically/career-wise. However, I did stumble across a quote that might apply to me and how I am changing through this experience:

I am done with great things and big plans, great institutions and big success. I am for those tiny, invisible loving human forces that work from individual to individual, creeping through the crannies of the world like so many rootlets, or like the capillary oozing of water, which, if given time, will rend the hardest monuments of pride. -William James (1842-1910)

Right now, I'm in Atlanta enjoying a restful weekend with Luke and his parents. It is many degrees warmer here than in Boston, so I'm trying to soak up a few more rays of sun before summer officially vanishes.

5 comments:

Jackie Hanks said...

Erica,
So sorry to hear about you temporary memory loss, I imagine that would be scary. I am so glad you have such a great support system, it is always the best to be around people that love you so much they'd do anything for you. Enjoy your time in the sun in Florida!
You are in my thoughts everyday!
Love,
Jackie

Sara Celiberti said...

Erica YOU are an inspiration.
I check your blog often, I hope I can join the next group of Fletcher students coming to visit you.
Sara
MALD '07

Melissa (Nunez) Johnson said...

Hi Erica,
We haven't talked since high school, so I hope you remember me. I wanted you to know that you are in my continual prayers. I think about you often and see that since the last time I saw you, almost ten years ago, your beauty has not faded in the least bit.
Love,
Melissa

artineh said...

Hey Erica,
sorry about the memory loss... I hope it doesn't last too long.

I'm glad your spirits are generally up though and I love the quote you chose... none of that "success" stuff means as much as the love and friendship of your family and friends. I think success is better defined by your ability to be personable, loving and friendly so that you DO have such a strong support system. And that, my dear, you lack not!

love,
art

Christopher Alonzo said...

Erica,
I tried to think of something uplifting to write, but don't know what exactly to write. Then I tried to find some sort of inspirational quote someone wrote, but did not find one that was good enough. I guess sometimes there are no words. So I am letting you know I am thinking of you today.