I finally made it to Stanford to be with Erica, but according to my mom, today is the most “out-of-it” she’s been for the past week or so, special thanks to the mix of Ativan, Dilaudid, and Benadryl. As previously reported, she has moments of lucidity (I’m talking 30 seconds to a couple of minutes) but then falls back asleep for about 30 minutes.
For those of you who follow the medical speak, her WBC is 1.1 today, HCT is 30.3, PLT is 10K , and the ANC is 450. To translate for everyone else: WOOHOO! Progress! Basically, the docs hope that tomorrow she will be able to leave her room (donning a heavy duty mask of course) and there is even talk of her being able to come home this weekend or early next week. This is contingent upon whether she can swallow food and keep it down long enough to get nutrition. As of today, Erica tried to eat small bites of various foods, but the pain to swallow was too great. On the up side, she didn’t throw anything back up… Her lips are swollen and her mouth still has many sores, but the nurses say it’s getting much better. She is well enough to shower alone and this remains a good sign.
On a personal note, I found today to be difficult for me… I have always been able to handle the blood, the puke, the BMs, etc. I fancied myself a bit of a pro! But today I realized that I don’t really know how to help her anymore… my old tricks don’t work if she’s not awake and since I’m not up on all the daily meds, I feel slightly useless… Our Mom has been here every single day and I think Erica has attached to her now the way she did with me two years ago. Since I came in this afternoon, our Mom was able to get some necessities done (e.g. laundry and a real meal!). However, when Erica would wake up randomly throughout the day, it was our Mom that she called out for… She asked for her repetitively and reminded me of how Mom does things around the room and that she knows where things are, etc. I really felt out of practice and sad that I can’t make her feel better like when we were in Boston… on the up side, when she was more lucid in the evening, we were able to engage more and goof around a bit.
Since I now know what it feels like to rely on blog posts to know what’s happening in E131, I will do my best to report daily. So forgive me now if I’m redundant tomorrow.
Until then… peace.