I am sitting with Erica in her room with a little sun streaming in... she is peaceful and calm. Our family is here in the waiting area and there are a few at a time with her. We talk to her and tell stories and memories... Occasionally she stirs, but mostly she rests.
I think that perhaps the details aren't as important right now, so I choose to skip the medical play by play.
I do tell her about the posts of encouragement and love... it's important that she, and everyone else, know that there is so much love in this little room. I will post again when there is a change or anything new...
Sunday, November 30, 2008
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50 comments:
Jaci - I don't know you or Erica personally, but I have been drawn to this blog over the past year by Erica's tenacity, vibrance and grace and her family's love and support. I am sending all my positive thoughts your and Erica's way. My heart and prayers are with you all.
Neha
All my prayers, thoughts, and love are with you, Erica, and your family.
An Oxy Alum...
Before Erica left for her spring semester abroad in Paris she gave me an Amaryllis in a box. Yes, a flower in a box. When I opened the box, it was just a pot and some soil. My room in Bell-Young had very little sunlight, I never thought the little bud would grow into anything much. I followed the directions and gave it the water it asked for and whatever sunlight I could steal for it. For weeks it didn't grow. It didn't do much of anything but take up room on my windowsill. But I kept taking care of it because it was a gift. And gifts deserve every ounce of care you can give them. Especially ones than come from someone as special as Erica. So, one morning I woke up and it had sprouted. Within a week it had grown at least a foot and the flower bud began to blossom. How quickly things grow and how slowly we forget the little things. And how minuscule, seemingly pointless little memories stick and turn into something so meaningful. So comforting.
Erica,
I don't know you but I have been following your blog. I hope your family can pass on the message...I want to tell you that I love you. You have touched myself as well as thousands of other strangers around the world.
Marisa
Jaci, keep talking to her and telling her how much love and strength is being sent to her (to all of you) from all over the world.
God bless you! Un beso,
Giselle
Stay strong. I'm with you.
Gioia
Sending warmth, love, and hugs to you all.
I am one of the many out here thinking of you, Erica, and wishing you all the love, strength and peace that you need right now. What a wonderful family you have, and what an amazing person you are.
Dear Judy and Jaci,
I had the privilege of meeting Erica when she worked at Oxy and I was on the alumni board. It will surprise no one to learn that she was an exceptional staff member—creative, forward thinking, resourceful—and charming, of course. My admiration for Erica deepened on the day of her farewell party at Oxy. She was on her way to Japan to teach English and I told her that I thought she was really brave to leave her family and friends to live so far away (something I could not have done at her age). Erica just smiled that radiant smile of hers and said she was looking forward to the challenge.
Erica has had so many challenges these last two-and-one-half years and has met every one with humor and incredible strength.She inspired me (a Mexican and Euro-blooded mix) to honor her and register as a bone marrow donor.
Please let her know that there are thousands (yep, thousands) of people praying for her and her family. God is can’t help but notice so many people saying prayers for Erica Murray. She is surrounded by love.
Peace be with you,
Gail Scanlan
Nov 30,2008
Dear Jaci:
I am at a loss for words, and respect your calm attitude. Perhaps she exists for more than the lovely person she is..I can imagine my sister being sick,, I just lost her on September 19. My heart and prayers are with you, Erica and Judy.
Sincerely
Jeannie Reveler
Our familiy is praying for your family. We pray the Lords love will fill her room and everyone in there. Our daughter has leukemia and had a 9 out of 10 BMT in Sept. We hav been following your blog since she was diagnosed on May 1. She also is part asian, and was very blessed to find a donor from Europe. Please know that our hearts are with your family, and may Ericas room fill and overflow with love, she will feel all the love everyone has for her. Love, The Nishioka Family
I have been in a similar position to you Jaci, we have never met but I understand the intensity of what you are all going through as a family. Nothing is stronger than a family unit. Erica must have so much comfort knowing you are all there for her. Sending all my love, thoughts and prayers to you all - especially Erica from the UK. XXX
Sending warm thoughts and lots of love your way. Wishing you peace and comfort,
Lisa
I would give anything to tell her how much I care about her.
All my love to my beautiful cousin.
I'm too devastated to write anything else.
from another stranger who has been following your blog...erica your loving and vibrant spirit has touched my heart and life. your words, your smile, your song, your bravery throughout the years have painted such a vivid picture of the beautiful and amazing person that you are. sending you all my love, positive thoughts and prayers.
I can't help but respond again. Do you feel how much love we all have for you? Even people who have never met you LOVE you. Even though many of us are so far away, we are all holding you right now. All of us. Always,
Avi
Continuing to send love and peace and strength....you are in our thoughts, though I have never met you or your family.
Erica, Jaci, and Judy,
We are praying for comfort and wisdom for you from our comforting, sagacious God in heaven.
Here is a little quote for you:
"I cry to you, O Lord,
I say, 'You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.' Listen to my cry, for I am in desperate need;
rescue me from my pursuers for they are too strong for me.
Set me free from my prison, that I may praise Your Name." Psalm 142:5-7
We LOVE you dearly,
Rick & Bonnie and family
Sending you all my very strongest prayers and thoughts for you all.
Jen
My thoughts, prayers, and heart are with you all at this difficult time.
Love,
Kristi
What an extraordinary legacy you have ALREADY left in the form of this blog...I am blown away by the people who comment - so much love and respect from around the globe.
I am sending all the good, all the love and light that I can conjure to you, Jaci and your mom - and I look forward to all that you will add to this remarkable, amazing, admireable legacy in the days yet to come.-gab
All the love and strength to you Erica, and your family. My thoughts are with all of you during this time.
Love,
Emily
Erica, Jaci and Judy - I pray for health and strength everyday. My thoughts are always with you. Gemma
Peace, love and support goes out to you Erica and your family.
Lo
I've never met Erica, but I feel that I've come to "know" her (and her incredibly-loving circle of family and friends) in some small way through this blog, which I've been following for nearly a year. My friend Clif had told me about his smart, wonderful, beautiful cousin and her harrowing prognosis, so I've visited the site often, to check on her and the rest of you.
I've never felt compelled to post anything, until now - and for that, I feel more than a bit ashamed and cowardly. I'm sitting here, on the other side of the U.S., crying as I read Jaci's most recent posts and all of the recent comments - the fact of which attests to Erica's huge, pervasive spirit and the mind-blowing amount of love that transcends the words and photos herein.
I lost my mother - my best friend on this planet - to ovarian cancer two years ago yesterday. She'd beaten breast cancer twice in just over 11 years; ovarian cancer blindsided all of us, and took Mom's life less than two years after the devastating diagnosis. I wish she could have found some peace throughout those long, horrible battle years, instead of succumbing, as she did near the end, to abject terror, despair, and sick regret over wasted years, lost time, and unrealized dreams.
Most people, it seems, either never recognize their true talents, or squander them, or are too debilitated to nurture their innate gifts, so that these precious gifts tragically never blossom into something fulfilling and personally meaningful. Reading through Erica's own posts, I'm both awed and humbled by her fearless, confident pursuit of her goals, her genuine care for others and their well-being, and her unfaltering sense of self-worth.
I don't think anyone would consider a person with a life-threatening illness "lucky" - but, as I see it, Erica's incredibly fortunate, in that she's endured the nightmare of leukemia while surrounded by the caliber of people who've been supporting her throughout her ordeal. No matter what happens, I hope all of you will at least take some comfort in the knowledge that Erica's life - full as it obviously is and has been of love and hope and promise - has not been unexamined or wasted, and that hundreds - probably thousands! - of people are much better off for having known her, even if, for some of us, it can only ever be via a handful of photos and some text on a screen.
As a non-believer, I'm sorry that I can't offer you prayers - but please know that you're all firmly in my thoughts, as you have been since I first started reading this blog. *BIG HUGS* to you, Erica, and all of the amazing people who love you.
~Erika
Jaci- Thank you for posting so regularly. Erica, there is a lot of love and prayers coming from up in Oregon. Keep fighting.
Jon
I have been reading your blog for a few months now - and wanted to tell you that I am thinking and praying for Erica - I battled AML this year, and the one good thing that came from this nasty cancer is that it brought my family and I closer together than we ever were. Erica is very lucky to have a wonderful support system with her, even though she is not talking with you - she is with you and feels your love.
In my mind, Erica, you are: joking as you pass me by in the halls of Fletcher or in our dorm "tower," inquisitively engaging our profs and classmates, conversing on the red line after a late-night movie in Harvard Square, "taking me out" on every tennis court and bowling alley across town (as well as at any board game ever invented!), artistically crafting inspirational marathon encouragement signs, cooking a gourmet lasagna with Jaci and delivering it to my family at home, adeptly backing an enormous U-Haul onto the narrowest of streets (entirely unassisted), soulfully strumming your guitar, convincing a sushi chef to offer an impromptu lesson for Gioia's giant surprise, road-tripping it to Montreal on a whim (fountain foot-dipping on a scorcher of a summer afternoon), skillfully ordering a twelve-course Chinese birthday dinner, gracefully dancing the Russian jig, snowtubing gleefully down a white, wintry hill, happy. You are radiant in every memory, Erica, and it is how you remain to us all.
I am courageous because you are, I am fearless because you are, I am compassionate because you are, I am steadfast because you are! Jaci and family, you all are under our wings of prayer. Our hearts ache with you and we keep alive the gleeful and beatiful Erica close to our hearts!
With love,
George, Stephanie & Liam Wu
Jaci thank you for posting this second update today. I have been thinking of Erica all day and sending so much love her way, your way, your mom's way -- to all of you.
My best wishes to Erica and you and your family. You are in my prayers.
A fellow Oxy 2001 Alum.
Erica,
You'd be shocked if you knew how many people are following your story and rooting for you, and using you as a positive example to face our own perils. We're all thinking about you with admiration and love.
As always, my greatest hopes are with you, Erica. I am thinking of you.
Dear Jaci:
Like so many, I pray from afar for Erica and all of you -- and -- like so many -- my thoughts are rarely far from this blog these days. Thank you for taking the time to inform all of us of how things are... for all of you. Every minute of every day I am grateful for Erica and her presence in this world. Please tell her that she has taught me so much about life, happiness, strength and most of all love. Please know that I, like everyone else, send you strength and courage to meet each moment.
Wendy
Sending tons of love and light to you all....
and thanks
Annie
I cannot begin to imagine the feelings and emotions you and your family have been through these past few years. I marvel at the strength of your family and I thank you for making such a private experience, so very public. I am certain I am not the only person who has been inspired by a family's support and one woman's strength. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of you.
- Oxy Grad
I'm praying so hard for you guys.
I don't know either of you personally, but I hope with all my heart that Erica gets through this and starts to feel better very soon.
As you pray and share memories with Erica, also give her permission to transcend beyond the tubes, which she obviously wants to detach from, to a garden of happiness in a lofty place of peace and glory.
Cherished love to you all.
Erica & Jaci & Family--
The Cunninghams send you an enormous amount of prayers & love. Seeing the closeness and bond between Erica & you always inspired me to be a better sister, while growing up with you Jaci. My prayers and thoughts are with you both and your family.
-Erin
Dear Erica,
Be strong. You are indeed so loved by your family, friends and strangers...The kids and I are sending Auntie Erica, Auntie Jaci and Kaiporpor our love and prayers.
Best, Clare
I am a stranger to you, but Jaci, we are not strangers on this path.
There are many like us, and many like my brother and Erica. Although we all have to go through this in our own way and alone to some extent.
You have friends and family who support and love you, but remember there are others who care about you and your family.
We are inspired by the love you have for each other and the selflessness that you have demonstrated by documenting a part of your experiences. You have helped my brother and I personally by the messages you have share with the rest of us.
I hope we can help you in some small way, too, just by letting you know we care and are thinking about you every day.
Erica and Family,
I continue to offer you my prayers for today, tomorrow, and the days ahead. May God rest his hand and heal Erica's body and make her whole.
Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.
Emmanuel,
June
BIG LOVE & HUGS to you all from England, Claire and Bonnie xx
Still thinking of all of you and sending my love.
Lauren
All my prayers, thoughts, and wishes are with you and your family. You have helped soo many with your story and your strength.
Erica,
James introduced me to you in April at Stanford. You are truly an inspiration and my prayers are with you and your family. God bless.
Love,
Sophie
The universe is showering you with love right now.
Dear Erica,
I also am 1 of many who wish for you the strength to overcome your disease. Fight on as we all pray for you. Your story touches my heart, as it has for so many. You are an inspiration to all of us.
I received this following passage from a friend, and hope that it's message has meaning for you as we all pray for you and your soon recovery.
the atonement of Jesus Christ is the hope that heals our hearts and allows us to go forward in life. Many people only think he paid for our sins. However, the scriptures go farther and teach us that he experienced the other pains as well, including our ills, sicknesses, grief, mourning, heartache, pain, remorse, and guilt. He descended below it all. He felt the accumulation of every broken heart due to death, disease, and loss. He understands what we are going through for he felt it all. That is why we can turn to him during our times of trial and pain…he understands. We can trust him. He has bourne the burden of our life. He is the Good Sheppard. He is the Balm of Gilead that soothes our wounds.
May God Bless you Erica!
bob
This breaks my heart to read, and my family's throughts, prayers, and love go out to you.
I have been reading this blog since day one, when I received a link for it from a fellow Oxy Alum because I am Asian American. I immediately ordered a home test kit and registered with the bone marrow registry, and sent this blog to all of my hapa friends and asked them to register too. I wish we could do more. With love and aloha, an Oxy Alum
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