Ever wanted to read Jaci's diary?

Tomorrow is wear marroon and orange day nationwide.

Per my request, particularly because I think she has an intersting comparison btw Bush's quick reaction to international conflict but not to domestic disaster, Jaci's letting us read her journal from yesterday. Interestingly, today, at work, she had to phone two area superintendents for suggestions on how to update her school's lock down policy.

"Wednesday, April 18, 2007 Boston, MA

I find myself glued to the news... 2 days ago, a student on the Virginia Tech campus killed 33 people, including himself. He bought two hand guns and ammo and had a massacre in class... my heart aches for everyone, including the gunman, and my mind can't find reason for this. i just can't process why, how, WHY a boy thinks this is an option... apparantly, he was referred to counseling, to the police. how did he slip through the cracks? aren't these organizations set up to protect kids before he gets to this place? i know i should be angry with him for killing 32 people (students & teachers) but maybe because he killed himself too, it is just too tragic to point fingers. the anger he felt went unaddressed...

as a counselor, will i be able to help a child like him or am i even strong enough? would i feel guilt and remorse if i couldn't reach him? at what point does a person take responsibility for their own life and say, "yea, i've had a shitty life. unfair things have happened and no one protected me." then shouldn't one move on and heal? was this his healing method? oh the parents... the families of the dead grieve. the families of the survivors are so thankful. and the rest of us are only shocked.

i really don't understand. our nation grasps for answers to make sense of such a tragedy and President G.W. Bush only scolds anyone for asking. he says we need to heal first but we need solutions now. he should take as swift movement in our own nation as he did in the Middle East. after 9/11 we were a nation empowered by his leadershipto unite... why does it happen for a foreign enemy and not a domestic one? gun laws are lax. repubs on the news say, "if other students were armed maybe more lives would be saved." are they stupid?? the solution to gun violence is more guns? in the hands of kids only18-years-old... a firefight in the lunchroom... God help us. what other species is blessed with a conscience and soul? and it is our very being to kill ourselves. why?

i am working at the newton montessori school for kids 3 months to12-years-old. what would i do if a child brought in a weapon? who would believe kids are capable of such things...?